April 2, 2024
By: Marcus Ellison
I don’t know why I still think about them. After everything that happened, after the way things ended, I should be able to move on. And yet, part of me still wants to go back.
It’s not even about them, really—it’s about the way I felt when we were together. That warmth, that closeness. The late-night conversations, the feeling of being truly seen by someone. I miss it. I crave it. But at the same time, I can’t forget what they did.
I know they have Borderline Personality Disorder. I know that means they struggle with emotions in a way I’ll never fully understand. But does that excuse everything? I don’t think it does. I don’t think I can just chalk up the pain to a diagnosis and pretend it never happened.
Still, I wish I could turn off the part of me that wants them back. Maybe it’s not even them I want—it’s the comfort, the familiarity. But deep down, I know the past is the past for a reason.
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